It’s all rain and slush and puddles over here today. And this morning the drive back from dropping my husband off at work was filled with scenes of fog wrapped farm fields and sheets of mist covered ponds. There was beauty in the way it veiled the ordinary scenery and as I drove on by the midnight colored Sugar River all I could think was that I needed to see it all, I needed to be caught up in that moment, I needed to run through those fields and touch that water. I was thinking of what God would say to me in front of the church of believers, what He would reveal about me if I wasn’t covered in all of His Grace. The truth is that He would say I am a wanderer through and through. I can’t sit still. I can’t bide my time. I never stay in one place too long. I am always searching. And even today, I found myself wanting to wander down hiking trails I had never been on before, on my own, but when I stepped out my back door I found the ground too slippery with slush and melting ice and had to settle for wandering in my own small backyard. Yes I am a wanderer, but I’m also very often afraid. Afraid of the future, afraid of failing, afraid of not failing, afraid of wandering too far. I stood out in the mist this afternoon and watched as the water rippled across the puddle that is overtaking the land beneath the pines. And I remembered the phrase “washing waters” which enters into my mind from time to time and whispers so strongly of salvation and restoration and baptism. And I thought, these days are my daily washing waters. Each day I desperately need God to calm my wandering heart, I desperately need His Spirit to wash over me, I desperately need to be cleansed of all of my selfish pride. I keep trying to go it alone, but then God sends the rain and bids me to settle down into His peace. If you are feeling lost, if you are wandering, if everything you are touching lately is falling apart, know that God has got your beautiful soul covered, allow yourself to be washed in His Grace. We are the fallen living in a fallen world, but we are also the Hand Washed chosen children of the King.
A Fellow Grace Wanderer