I haven’t felt lovely these last three weeks. Recovering from two rounds of kidney stone surgery and stents is far from pretty. I’ve felt needy and run down. And life has just been generally rough over here for over a year now. Infertility treatments are no joke. And yet, this guy. He’s always there. He’s always assuring me that I’m beautiful to him. He said to me the other night as I was literally crying about Beyonce (I mean what? Who am I? I blame lack of sleep) that he hasn’t changed his mind about me. His feelings for me haven’t changed. He just loves me. That’s it. No questions asked. I keep thinking he might change his mind one day, that one day I might be too much for him. But he remains steady and loving and forgiving and firm in his commitment to me. And I can’t believe it. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. His love reminds me of how I feel about God’s love…and that is incredible. I don’t deserve it and yet I’m loved…God and my husband, they chose me. I will never get over that. I will never fully grasp it. But these two, they humble every ounce of my being. I am so blessed to be called theirs. I am so grateful that they see beauty where I can’t, that they forgive me when I can’t, that they love me even when I don’t. My valentine will always be this man who stands next to me, this man of God I am so humbled to be joined with. He is by far my better half. He has all of my heart and he always will. A man that can love me like God can is worth every ounce of this heart of mine. My life is forever made up of him and my Savior. Life isn’t pretty here, but it is so good. And I’m thankful for every minute of it we get to spend together.
A Fellow Grace Wanderer