I’ve been thinking over all of the contradictory prayers I’ve prayed in the course of my life. There were times that I prayed God would answer quickly, or before a certain date, but also prayed that God’s will be done. There were times I prayed for situations to come to pass, but afterwards realized it wasn’t what I wanted and then prayed for the reversal of such things. I take one step forward towards surrendering my will to God, but then soon after find myself standing three steps back in my disbelief. The Grace of all of this is that Jesus keeps interceding for us, that the Holy Spirit knows what it is our heart needs, and they relay that to the Father. There are times we pray for things that we don’t understand. But God always understands. I have found moments of Grace in prayers that I thought had gone unanswered or that had been answered with a “no”. Looking back, I can see the beauty of God at work even in the heights of my disappointment. There is great importance in praying “Thy will be done”. Even Jesus prayed this in the garden of Gethsemane when He requested that the cup He was about to drink, death and betrayal, would pass. Even then, He prayed it. Even then He surrendered to God, and in His surrender saved our very souls. We can ask for hard things to pass. Scripture plainly shows that God is able to crumble our mountains and miraculously heal our ailments and bring back to life what we thought was dead. But it must be His will that accomplishes this and not our own, because the truth of it is that we know not what we ask. We see in part, but He sees the whole. Prayer allows us to become witnesses to the will of God. We ask and we see Him answer. He speaks and we hear His voice. Each answered prayer is a testimony to His Grace and power, and every “no” He utters is a moment of Mercy as He delivers instead what is best and what is Good. We will make mistakes, even in our prayers. But God never once makes a mistake in His answers toward us. We can trust that how He answers is perfect, even if it seems hard or inconvenient or not what we had hoped. Our Father knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows each chapter that is needed in our lives.
A Fellow Grace Wanderer