40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Days 23 & 24


Dear Reader, 

If you say a word over and over again it sometimes feels as if it loses its meaning. It becomes just a strange sound to the ear without any real identifying purpose behind it. This same thing also sometimes happens when we hear the same message over and over again. We hear the words. We hear the sounds they make. But we’ve stopped letting it saturate our souls and instead allow it to fall limp on our closing ears. We don’t do this intentionally. What happens is that what once seemed extraordinary suddenly becomes ordinary in the context of the repetition. It’s no longer new or fresh. We’ve tired of the sound it makes in our lives and we rest complacent on the truth that what once lit a fire beneath us now simply keeps us lukewarm. God says, His mercies are new every morning. The Joy about Jesus is that there is nothing about Him that becomes stale. Perhaps when our prayers begin to become repetition of sounds and words it is because we’ve stopped entering into the honest conversation God had wanted from us, and started repeating our desires to a point where they no longer feel real. For me, the key to really communing with God is to come with fresh requests and with fresh perspective each day. We might be praying for the same thing over and over, but our circumstances change from day to day. Whether it be slight or major changes, the truth is that no day is ever exactly the same and therefore our prayers, if they are revealing the truth of our daily lives, won’t remain the same either. Each night when I pray “Grow my family” I’m learning that my heart contains different thoughts on that subject than it did the day before. Sometimes my heart feels more open and sometimes it feels painstakingly closed. Each change I need to discuss with God. Only He can bring what my heart needs that day. If what you are praying for these 40 days has started to feel stale and no longer real, ask God for a new perspective on it. Remember His mercies are new every morning. While He stays the same through the ages His mercy and grace and power eternally astounds us. Look for this, and you will find that the repetition of this life suddenly becomes more distinctly eye opening.

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Day 22


Dear Reader, 

Life takes time, but I often want my prayers answered in an instant. I’m learning that as years go by I’m learning more about God and understanding why He answers me in the way that He does and within the timelines He creates. Time gives way for reflection. It saturates our bones and it whispers wisdom and truth down into our souls. We rarely understand why things happen while we are still in the moment, but when we step away from it into a new season of life we find that things become more clear and we are able to see how God was simply fitting together all the missing pieces. We see things close up and out of focus, but He sees things and people in their entirety. He can’t give away the ending to us because then maybe we would never chose to live out the moments that get us there. Maybe we would miss out on all the beauty He weaves if we already had all the answers. I think of who I was five years ago and I know there are things in my life today that I simply could not accept back then. Five years ago there was no way I could be who I am now. I hadn’t lived it out yet. I hadn’t wrestled. I hadn’t reflected. I was looking at everything at face value, looking it all right in the eyes but couldn’t see anything from a different perspective. I know five years from now the same will hold true, that I wasn’t capable of being who I will be then while I’m standing where I am now. And so when we ask God why He is taking all the time in the world to answer our prayers, we must understand that it is because God works for Good and anything Good is worth all the time that God invests into it. There is reason and purpose and beauty to your story, but we must live to find it. We must walk through fire to experience true Grace. We must surrender to understand real freedom. And we must love deep to understand what God really means when He says He loves us. Prayer is the caption on the winding of time. It’s how we walked and talked with God as He lived out our stories with us. He is present and He is real and He is the time weaver and the Joy bringer and the Grace giver. Praise Him for all the time He has given us, and all the words He still has yet to say to us. 

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Day 21


Dear Reader, 

Don’t forget to pray around good food with good friends. Don’t forget that God loves community with us because He loves to bring us together over His holy communion. I’ve struggled for years with this. I’ve struggled knowing I loved God but finding it hard to really get to know and trust other people. Sometimes it’s true that certain relationships won’t work out. Some short meetings are meant to change us for the better, to teach us a lesson about loving people anyways. But some people are meant to stay rooted in our lives because God has set a place for them in the table of our hearts and He has set a desire in us to wash feet and serve and in so doing to know one another better. Not everyone will be in your circle of 12, like Jesus had. That’s something I didn’t understand for years. We are to love everyone and really care and really strive to take care of humanity as Jesus so did and as He so loved. But it’s true that there will be people that you must grow with, and lean on, and fully trust with big and small moments of your life. Friends are treasures. They are blessings in what they do and say and in who they are. Pray continually, on your own, but also in communion with people. If you have these special people in your life, I encourage you to keep growing deeper with them. If you don’t have these people yet, I encourage you not to lose hope. God will provide. Keep on praying for communion and close community. I know first hand God can and will answer those prayers. He is faithful and Good and Kind. So today friends, keep praying for and in communion with another and watch as the body of Christ’s church comes alive. 

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Day 20 


Dear Reader, 

Today God protected me from something in a really big way. It was one of those situations where something bad still happened but God showed up and allowed the damage to go no further. I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus. Every day before nap time with my nanny kids I sing a song with them I learned at camp when I was a little girl, “All night, all day, Angels watching over me, my Lord”. Today I realized God heard us. I realized that He hears us every single day and every single time we pray. He heard my prayer over these tiny children day after day and today He turned what could have been a devastating accident into an unfortunate inconvenience. God knew the timing of today would come into play and I’m standing here telling you that though someone hit our car today, we all walked away untouched and the car while dented on the outside was perfectly intact on the inside. I’ve never been in an accident before and this one with my tiny little ones in the backseat scared me half to death. But God stood there and guided us. He caused me to slow down to a stop seconds before something worse was coming. And that is Prayer in action my friend. That is God stepping right into everyday life and saying, “bad things might happen, but I tell them to go no further.” God stands between us and death every second of every day. He fights what we can’t see. The Holy Spirit sees and hears and shields and strengthens us even when we aren’t looking and when we don’t notice. “All night, all day, angels watching over me, I pray”. God is Good. Keep praying. Keep singing to Him. He loves us too well to let us fall. Tonight I stand in awe of Him. 

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Days 18 & 19


Dear Reader, 

Yesterday, my phone stopped working. And I was incredibly distraught because I knew I wouldn’t be able to post day 18 for this 40 days of Prayer series. I was mad that I couldn’t keep my word and that I was forced to take an unexpected pause in this journey that I wanted to seamlessly embark on. I was upset that I had to delete almost every single one of my photos that I had so intently taken with purpose and I knew that today’s photo would have to be from whatever was left. This photo happens to be from our trip to Yellowstone and the Badlands which we left on almost a year ago today. It was our anniversary trip, and God showed me the power of His hand and the beauty of His creation. Today I’m feeling conviction about all of my feelings from yesterday. Sure, my post was late. But God still heard my prayers and He still heard yours. God isn’t thrown off by a detour in our plans. He doesn’t think less of us if we feel unorganized and chaotic. He plans on those things happening because He knows we are broken people living in a broken world and He came to be our perfect God because He already knew we had fallen from perfection. Today I’m just thankful that I have a perfect God who covers over all of my imperfections. I’m thankful He still hears my prayers even when I’ve seemingly become lost in my own chaos. Grace is most evident to me when I realize how broken I am and how unable I am to do anything worthwhile on my own. God is the glory maker. He is the beauty bringer. He is the Grace changer. And for all of that I am thankful. If your 40 day prayer plan has been derailed at some point, know that it is still effective and God is still listening. He has enough Grace for all of us imperfect people. He is what makes us beautiful and He is what prayer is all about. 

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With the King Day 17

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Dear Reader,

The other evening my husband and I were sitting out on our deck. While we were out there two monarch butterflies came flying right up to us, and fluttered around us almost as if they were happy we were there. They weren’t in anyway afraid of us, though we were a hundred times their size. It was a really amazing moment. I don’t understand their lack of fear or really why they were drawn to us. After a while they flew off below the pines and were on their way together. Sometimes God enters our life this way too. Suddenly we find ourselves receiving undeserved Grace in His presence, and we are bewildered at why such a wonderful and perfect God would desire to be in our presence. We can’t understand why such a Good God would love us so deeply. Prayer ushers us into those moments. We may begin speaking to Him, and suddenly feel a connection with Him, a peace, or an understanding that takes us completely by surprise and leaves us breathless. What can I say about this powerful loving God who desires to be with us so much? How can my words ever sum up His Goodness towards us? Sometimes there are no words. Sometimes just resting silently in the Goodness of the presence of God is more than enough. His words are enough. His Goodness is enough. I pray you will experience moments like these in your own prayer life with Him. Chances are you already have. Because when God comes down to be with us, He really comes down to dwell among us.The Holy Spirit of God is so real and is often so tangible. The old hymn tells it best: “I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean. How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be. How wonderful, how marvelous, is my Savior’s love for me.” Jesus gave this gift to us. He gave us the ability to once again stand in the presence of our Father God. He stands with us and for us and He tells us to come boldly as dearly loved children and sit at His Father’s feet and be wrapped in His Father’s love. This is what prayer is all about. It’s about being able to experience home with God for a few moments while we still walk this earth.

In Him,

A Fellow Grace Wanderer

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Day 16 


Dear Reader, 

Prayer doesn’t just lift our voice to Heaven. It changes us. When I know I’m going to talk to God about life, it changes how I do life. Prayer is a constant reminder that God is present, and so the encouragement and the power and the strength He grants me while I fold or lift my hands to Him in worship, carries into all the cracks and crevices of my life. His Spirit is Living Water for our souls and as all water does, it trickles and flows and bubbles up into the dry places of our lives. To know Him is to love Him. Because His Goodness begins to pour out into our daily life the closer and closer we get to Him. It doesn’t mean we get everything we have ever wanted. It means instead that we begin to see and understand and comprehend all the Good that HE has planned for us. Surrender is really Grace. We give Him our brokenness and He gives us Life. We give Him our sinful selves and He gives us His robe of Life. We bring to the table darkness, and He fills us instead with Light. He is the Light in our dark days, our strength when we are weak, our ever present Father. Prayer opens this all up for us. It lets us see our Father as He truly is, and calls us to take a closer look at who we truly are. There is Redemptive Grace at work here. He can bring us full Restoration through our time in the throne room with Him. Bringing our real lives to the feet of our Father is like remembering that we aren’t truly home until we’re with Him. The only place we will find full acceptance and grace for everything we are and everything we have been is at the side of our Savior who has thrown the doors to His Father’s house and His Father’s heart wide open for us. We are Loved, and because of that, we are heard. 

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Day 15 


Dear Reader, 

This week has been incredibly discouraging for me. Things I’ve tried to do have failed, people I’ve tried to love have shut me down, and the wait to grow our family has weighed heavy on my heart these last few days. This is truth though, and I know it to be so, that whenever we lean in closer to God and His calling and whenever we REALLY try to live out our love for Him, life will get hard. It’s not even a maybe. It’s a definite response to how things will play out. I have actively tried to change my life and surrender myself to God. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect or that I will always say the right things. In fact, it will probably mean that I say the wrong things more. What I’m trying to say here is that my original topic of Prayer over these 40 days was “grow my family”. And God is definitely growing me, and it feels like He is growing my husband too and other close family members. I meant when I prayed those words that I wanted God to bless us with children soon. But God heard my words and knew that I needed more than that. I needed self reflection. I needed to break down more of my walls. I needed to surrender more of my heart and humble more of my soul. That’s how God has chosen to grow my family so far, by first growing me. I don’t know what you have been praying over, but I do know that you’ve probably had difficult days too. The enemy sees when we join together in prayer and he will try everything to discourage you. But friend, you are Loved and heard and granted power to overcome by the Lover of your soul, the King of Heaven. Stay strong. Press on. 

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

40 Days of Prayer: Conversations With The King Day 14


Dear Reader, 

Last night we rode our bikes down the lake trail and caught a few moments of music in the park. Sometimes when I really look around at our life, I find that it’s what I had always hoped for. Except, I can still name a few things that are missing, namely more members of our family. The truth is though, living out here in this small town in the country is what I dreamed of as a little girl growing up near the big city. I wanted room to breathe and to grow. I had forgotten that I had wanted this, until we moved out here a couple of years ago. And just like that I saw how God was working, how He cared enough to send little me to the place I was hoping for. God is in the details. He cares about all of our small and seemingly meaningless thoughts and hopes. He works everything into the tapestry of Grace and Hope. Are there things He hasn’t given me? Yes. But I’m learning to trust that His answers are always gloriously best. So tonight sweet friends, trust where He is planting you or where He is sending you. There is purpose and grace to it all, even in the hard seasons and even when all we can see are the hard days. Keep lifting those prayers up to Heaven and watch as God answers and sends and gives. He is so Good. 

In Him, 

A Fellow Grace Wanderer 

Waiting Mama Wednesdays


In case you didn’t know, every Wednesday on the Instagram page, HandWashedInGrace, is Waiting Mama Wednesday. These days are dedicated to waiting adoptive mama’s. We talk about adoption fundraisers, what we’re doing during the wait for our babies, and what God has to say to us during this time. If you’re a waiting mama or know someone who is, feel free to join in! #waitingmamawednesdays